The Glue That Binds Us
by ClaireBear1982
Summary: You know when you love someone so much that you can almost feel their every thought, and feelings? Harry knows there's something very very wrong with Draco. BIG FAT TRIGGER WARNING ON THIS STORY FOR MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND BLOOD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


Niffler: Write about someone finding someone/thing (literal, metaphorical, or existential).

2: (emotion) anger. 8: (word) morose. 9: (phrase) drop of a hat.

Chaser 2. Ballycastle Bats.

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, BLOOD.

* * *

"I'm sorry, I can't," said Harry sadly.

Draco reached out to grab Harry's hand to stop him from leaving. "Please, Harry, please don't leave me, I can change. I will change, just please, don't go. Stay, and we'll talk."

"Draco, there's nothing more to talk about. I'm sorry," whispered Harry as tears poured down his pale cheeks.

Draco looked towards the hand he held in his own. He watched as the tanned slender fingers pull away from his own pale one.

"I'm sorry, Draco, take care of yourself," said Harry in a strangulated voice. He moved towards the top of the stairs to grab the suitcase he'd left there. He picked it up and hauled it out of sight.

Once Harry was out of sight, Draco sank to the floor a well of misery filled his chest as he let out a howl much like a wounded animal, and started to sob. Anger bubbled away in the pit of his stomach, this was all his fault, and he'd never forgive himself.

Once Harry got outside on the steps outside of the flat, he sunk down on the steps his face buried in his hands, sobs wracked his body. He couldn't believe he'd done it, he couldn't believe he'd actually packed his bags and left. But he just couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't take all the arguing, and fighting that was happening on a daily basis. It wasn't like he was even the one starting it.

Harry sighed and sat up. He dried his face on his sleeve and pulled out his phone and made a call.

"Thanks for putting me up, Ginny," said Harry throatily.

"No problem, Harry. Do you want to talk about it?" asked Ginny as she rubbed Harry's arm.

Harry merely just shook his head and moved to sit down before his legs gave way and he collapsed in a heap.

Draco wasn't sure how long he was laid on the landing. He was feeling extremely exhausted from the sobs that wracked his body. He couldn't believe it, he never thought that Harry would actually leave him. This time he'd pushed too far. Feelings of guilt tore through his body. Draco grabbed at his hair and angrily began to pull. His sobs grew louder, and a violent urge to end it all overtook his brain. Draco scrambled to his feet, and shuffled towards the bathroom to the cupboard under the sink to see if there was anything he could take. 'If Harry doesn't want me anymore, then there's no point in living any longer,' Draco thought in a morose kind of way. Another sob tore from his throat, as he sank to the floor and started rummaging through the boxes and bottles that resided there. But there was nothing that would cause any considerable damage.

Harry sat curled up in a chair by the window, he wasn't really seeing anything that was going on in the outside world, he just vacantly stared off into space. That was until Ginny gave him a tap on the shoulder.

"Hey Harry, here's a cup of coffee," said Ginny quietly.

"Thanks," said Harry taking the steaming mug.

"What happened, Harry? I thought you two were stronger than this, I never thought you'd leave Draco," said Ginny curiously. Though in a perverse kind of way it was just what Draco deserved, she decided angrily.

Harry just sighed and shook his head. Hot tears rolled down his now pale face, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He gave his head a small shake and drew in a lung full of air.

Draco had relocated to the bedroom, he was laid on the bed curled up in on himself. By now he was just crying quietly, his fists curled around the covers he was gripping tightly. His heart felt like it was breaking over and over again, and his chest felt constricted and air was hard to come by. His eyes stung and felt really heavy, unable to keep his eyes shut, Draco fell into a restless sleep.

He awoke a couple of hours later, he was sweating and shaking like a leaf. He rolled so he could sit on the edge of the bed, after taking a few deep breaths he made to stand, but as he did so, he fell forward like a felled tree head first into the long mirror propped against the wall. The shards of glass pierced his skin like a knife through butter...

"Ginny, do me a favour?" asked Harry quietly.

"Sure, what's up?" asked Ginny pensively.

"Can you ring Draco and make sure he's okay? Make it look like you're just randomly calling him though. I don't want him to know I'm here just now," replied Harry biting his lip.

"Erm, won't that be a bit suspicious, me just ringing out of the blue like that?" asked Ginny, a frown marring her face.

"True," said Harry, tears filling his eyes. He had to concede Ginny had a point, her ringing at the drop of a hat would likely seem suspicious.

Ginny felt her heart constrict. She'd never seen her friend this cut up in all the years she'd known him. Not even over the death of his father whilst they'd been at school, had Harry been as cut up as this. Ginny moved closer towards Harry and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she possibly could. She felt Harry stiffen for a moment, before he melted into Ginny's embrace. The dam broke, and Harry was crying on Ginny's shoulder. Anger flooded Ginny, what the hell had happened between Harry and Draco for God's sake? She's couldn't believe that Harry would just leave Draco at the drop of a hat, there had to be something more than they'd ever let on. She hoped that Draco was hurting just as much.

Several hours later, and Draco felt like he was being shook. He chose to ignore it, figuring it was just a figment of his imagination. Why the fuck would he want to wake up? Harry was gone, he had no reason to open his eyes any longer, death was free to make him his. Finally Draco opened his eyes, and found he was completely alone, it had all just been a dream. Swearing loudly, Draco morosely made to sit up, a stinging sensation ripped through his palm. Moving his hand closer to his face he saw p red blood. That's when the pain hit him. Draco gasped loudly as he remembered he'd fallen headlong into the mirror. Draco picked up a shard of the mirror and looked at himself. He had an array of cuts all over his face - a long gash across his forehead that had since clotted over, a few small cuts covered his cheeks too. His arms had been cut to ribbons also. Draco began to shake as the thought struck him; he could end it all right now, he could take this piece of mirror and drag it across his wrists, and he could just shuffle off of this mortal coil. All he wanted right now was to end this pain and misery...

Harry slept fitfully. Images of Draco kept invading his dreams. Memories of all the good times, the bad times, the loving looks, the laughs, the dreams of the future they had together. Several times Harry woke up in tears, his chest hurt, and he felt like something was sat on his chest. Fear and panic had started to grip his heart, had Draco done something stupid? Somehow, he, Harry always knew when Draco had done something completely stupid and needed his help. Blindly, Harry groped for his phone and glasses. Quickly he checked the time and found it to be almost two in the morning. Figuring Draco would likely still be awake, Harry pulled up his phone list and hit Draco's number and bought it to his ear. The phone rang and rang. Where was he? Draco was a night owl and was rarely asleep before three in the morning. A cold sweat broke out all over Harry's body. This wasn't a good sign especially under the circumstances.

Deciding he wasn't going to be able to rest until he knew for certain what was going on, Harry quickly and quietly dressed and slipped his shoes on and wrote a note for Ginny in case she woke up and found him gone. Once he'd done all that, Harry quietly managed to sneak from Ginny's flat out into the cold morning.

Eventually he found a taxi to carry him across London back to the home he shared with the one person who knew him better than he knew himself. Once the taxi dropped him outside his door, he was quick to enter the building, and ran as fast as he could up the flight of stairs to the front door, he fumbled with his keys as his hands were shaking so badly. His heart was racing like an Formula One car, and he could barely breathe. Once he finally got inside, he made quick work of the stairs. He checked every room on his way up, finding no sign of Draco he continued his search. Every light was thrown, lighting the flat like the Blackpool illuminations. Finally Harry found Draco in the bedroom. Blood stained the carpet surrounding Draco, Harry felt his heart stop as soon as he spotted him. A scream tore from Harry's throat as he threw himself down beside Draco.

Harry quickly pulled Draco towards him. He felt cold and there was a ting of blue to his chapped lips. Knowing this wasn't a good sign, Harry felt for a pulse on Draco's wrist, that's when he felt the wetness and split skin. Turning Draco's wrist over, Harry almost threw up. There were jagged cuts all over his wrist, a rather deep looking one close to the heel of his hand.

"No, no, no, Draco, no. Oh my God," sobbed Harry loudly. "Draco, wake up, please wake up, Draco, come back to life I can't live without you."

Quickly Harry realised he would have to call for an ambulance. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled for the emergency services. As he shakily explained the situation to the controller, he was advised to check if Draco had a pulse by finding the pulse point on his neck, it took Harry several attempts as his hands were shaking so bad, but he eventually found an extremely weak pulse, Harry breathed a tiny bit easier. He was still alive for the minute.

Draco woke up in hospital two days later. As he became aware of his surroundings, he heard beeping noises, pains in his wrists and the back of his hand, his forehead felt a little tender. But mostly he felt the warm hand in his. Who the hell could that be? Knowing his luck it was probably his mum, for a moment anger flooded Draco, how in God's name had he ended up in the hospital in the first place? Slowly and painfully he opened his eyes and blinked a few times to rid his eyes of the sleep currently clogging them up. He looked around the room he was in, yep definitely in hospital. He looked at the machines and their steady beep filled his ears, finally he dared to look at the hand holding his so securely. All he saw was a mop of black hair leant against the side of the bed. Draco's eyes filled with tears, Harry was here, and he was holding his hand again. Had Harry been the one to find him? Draco bit his lip, if that was the case, then he would have seen the state he'd made of himself. Guilt weighed down on his chest, and tears spilled down his cheeks. 'I couldn't even kill myself without fucking it up,' Draco thought morosely. Why was Harry even here? He didn't love him anymore, did he?

Draco let out a huge sob, causing Harry to jerk awake.

"Draco? Oh my God, Draco! You're awake! You're awake! Thank God! Draco I was so scared! I thought I'd lost you!" gushed Harry as he planted small kisses all over Draco's face.

Both of them were sobbing heartily, each apologising profusely to the other for making such a mess of things. Eventually Harry pulled away to say he was going to go find a doctor and let them know Draco was awake.

"You'll come back right?" asked Draco gripping Harry's hand as tightly as strength would allow.

"I'm never leaving you again, Draco, you can depend on that."


End file.
